Mystic Falls Messenger: TVD Recap Episode 3.08 “Ordinary People”

Mystic Falls Messenger

There are no Ordinary People in Mystic Falls (present or past)!

Apologies for devoting most of this edition to the Seniorest Citizens of Mystic Falls, but it was so confusing it had to be reported in the order it happened! Hey, if you want details, go watch the episode for yourself!

Editor’s notes: As usual, Ruthie delved into the depths of ancient archives to treat you to some mystical screen caps!

BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS

Our feature exposé this week: The Original Family (with no last name). Investigative reporters talked to numerous sources to put this together, so let’s get right to the “meat” of the story. In pre-Viking Eastern Europe, a wealthy landowner (aka Mikael) took a witch as a wife (Esther), and they had at least one child. A plague struck and took that child (mercifully, methinks).

The loving couple consulted their friend (servant?) witch Ayanna about how to escape the same fate [editorial comment: apologies if this is misspelled; however, note she was ethnic, and her name is suspiciously similar to Elena? Also, Ayanna means “beautiful flower“, and is thought to be the origin of the name Anna. Confused yet?]. Ayanna heard from “The Spirits” (hmmm) of a mystical land where everyone was healthy and blessed with gifts of speed and strength. Mystical “Mystic” Falls? Mikael led his family there (we know not how), where they settled among these blessed people, who were, of course, WEREWOLVES! There goes the neighborhood! The no-name Original Family lived in peace with the wolfies for over 20 years, and were “fruitful”–just Ordinary People *wink*.

On this fruitful note: Elijah revealed in Klaus that Esther bore SEVEN children. Time for finger counting!

1) Plague-dead child
2) Elijah
3) Niklaus (Klaus, Nick)
4) Rebekkah (Bex)
5) Heinrich (youngest living brother, per Bex)

We count five. This leaves two unexplained siblings wandering around (daggered around) out there somewhere. Just in the interest of continuity.

We digress: Once a month (ah, so many curses happen once a month), since the werewolves partied their howling asses off, The No-Name Original Family hid in caves beneath [The Massive Lockwood Estate] the village.

Since they didn’t have a Wii, Niklaus and Rebekkah amused themselves gossiping about their frightening father who did NOT like Niklaus and inventing The Original Graffiti on the cave walls.

Other forms of amusement: swordplay (Elijah was def better than Klaus–lol), which Mikael did NOT find amusing at all, since fighting was not supposed to be FUN (Original Buzzkill), it was for survival. He loved to point that out to Klaus [Some days it’s a miracle you’re still alive, BOY!]

Klaus was kind of a feisty wuss as an Ordinary Person! Rebekkah began her snooping and shopping habits back in the day, getting burned for trying to handle The Jewel of the Vile in it’s Original setting! It’s not hers to touch! (We wondered if Stef’s boxer-briefs shoulda burned her, too!)

One night, Niklaus and his young brother, Heinrich, snuck out of the caves to watch the neighbors turn into beasts (good times!). Oops! Heinrich became a werewolf munchie! Esther plead with Ayanna for The Spirits to save him (apparently, though the Original Witch herself, she did NOT have The Spirits on speed-dial). Alas, no dice. The boy was gone!

In Bex terms, this was The Beginning of the End of peace with the neighbors, and one of the last moments The Family had together as humans. In Elijah’s words (see Klaus), it ignited a war between the species. Let’s find out why, shall we? From past history, we knew Niklaus was the product of an affair between Esther and a werewolf villager. [Editorial comment: were the Mystic Village werewolves ancestors of the Lockwoods, making their geographic settlement pertinent? Was one of Tyler’s ancestors Klaus’ bio-dad? Interesting.]

Ayanna wouldn’t help Mikael and Esther protect the family before the next full moon. Her speed-dial connection said it was a crime against nature, and there would be the dreaded CONSEQUENCES. The Spirits would turn on them; it would be the makings of another plague. It wasn’t protection, it was PRIDE. Let’s talk family traits. Remember these become magnified as a vampire!

Mikael: PRIDE Goeth Before a Fall–he didn’t want to run again, he wanted to fight, so turn The Family into vampires! They could then bite harder, have better speed, agility, strength, and senses to defeat the werewolves.

Rebekkah: STUBBORN
Elijah: MORAL
Klaus: no TOLERANCE for those who disappoint him

The Jewel of the Vile (aka the necklace that wouldn’t die) tale gets weird. It came from the Original Witch that put the hybrid curse on Klaus–only it wasn’t Ayanna. It was Mom. Fact: A witch is Nature’s servant, a vampire is an abomination of Nature. Esther (The Original Witch) was a witch only and never “turned“–apparently you can’t swing both ways. Mom tried to hide Klaus’ wolfy side by putting the hybrid curse on him. This only worked until it all got exposed. More later.

Mikael was pissed that Ayanna wouldn’t call on The Spirits, which left the protection of The Family to Esther. She called on the Sun for life, and the ancient White Oak Tree as one of Nature’s eternal objects for immortality. Cooked up a spell that included Mikael force-feeding the kids wine laced with blood, and then brutally driving a sword through their hearts. We assume he was gutsy enough to do his own heart piercing! Add an anonymous villager to feed off of (noticed how Mikael shoved Klaus aside in favor of Rebekkah at this meal), and the indescribably euphoric transformation occurred! Oops! This first human kill triggered Klaus’ werewolf gene! Oh, the family shame exposed!

THE CONSEQUENCES: The Spirits did indeed turn on our happy little family. For every strength there was a weakness. The Sun burned them (ah, the first daywalker ring was seen), the neighbors could keep them out (not invited in!), the vervain flowers growing at the base of the White Oak tree burned them and prevented vampire compulsion. Sucks to be you! So, they burned The Tree to the ground [maybe keeping just a piece or two-hmmm?]. Darkest consequence? THE HUNGER. Bloodlust predators were born!

Mikael went on a prideful rampage once Esther’s indiscretion (Niklaus, half werewolf) was out in the open. He slaughtered half the village [Elijah told us in Klaus he killed their mother’s lover and his entire family], returned home, and invented the first-ever heartrip on his wife, in front of an impressionable Niklaus! Or so Bex told Elena in the present. In truth, Klaus had been lying to Bex all along, and he HIMSELF killed The Original Witch for turning her back on him! He made it up so he wouldn’t lose Rebekah. We know how Ordinary People past and present don’t like to be ALONE!

Mikael took off in a rage, and all but The Three Musketeers (Niklaus, Rebekkah, and Elijah) scattered. They buried their Mom and swore ‘One for all, all for one. Always and Forever’! Let’s just overlook Klaus’ nasty habit of daggering his siblings when they tick him off–he’s their brother and they’re all immortal. Should they spend eternity ALONE? Apparently Mikael made it his afterlife’s mission to rid the world of his greatest shame: Klaus. Now we have a vampire-vampire hunter! And he knows how to do it, too! There is speculation that Mikael’s present-day mentioned “stake” may have come from The Original White Oak…just have to wait and see!

IN OTHER OFF THE WALL BRIEFS

Some of the aforementioned history was courtesy of our present-day heroes analyzing The Lockwood Diaries, Pictionary Style on the walls of the caves deep below the Lockwood Estate. Runic, Viking script, as in before The New World. Suspected as another Klaus fake, however, Papa Original Mikael’s name carved on the wall brought a ring of truth!

STOCK TIP OF THE WEEK

Buy up those new Post-It Notes that stick to damp rock walls. Best sellers!

GO TO THE SOURCE

Many of our details were furnished ala Bex and Elena discussions in present day. They fought, they shopped (really, a Homecoming Dance version of compelled Project Runway in the middle of all this chaos), they snooped (boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs–we vote commando!), they BONDED! Elena brought the Big Bad Truth About the Brother to Bex in the end, and she broke down in tears. Just a girl who lost her mom too young, living an all-consuming life blindlessly and recklessly. Sound familiar, Elena?

NEW OLD DIVE or FAMILY DAY AT VAMPIRE REHAB GOES AMOK!

A twisted version of brotherly love occurred this week. Damon, not a champion of the Lexi Recovery Plan, busted Stef out of Ye Old Forbes Jail Cell, foiling Elena’s master plan. The Bros were spotted at a new old dive in Mystic Falls (this must be where the rednecks hang out in bad clothes) playing Quarters, drinking waitresses, and being sexy Coyote Ugly on top of the bar. Damon’s revised plan was to show Stef what Klaus-free freedom could be like. He needs his brother back!

Well, that got jacked up by Mikael arriving on-scene to play 20 Questions about Klaus’ whereabouts. Salvatore Boys! I shove my fist in The Woobie’s chest and twist his heart out if you don‘t fess up, Stef! Thank The Spirits Stef agrees to lure Klaus back to Mystic Falls (under penalty of getting staked himself if he fails).

Damon and Stef were overheard after last call arguing about the incident. Stef staunchly avowed that killing Klaus would set him free–to leave. Damon countered with the fact that this mess is because he owes Stef for saving his life (Tyler’s deadly bite), and the inability to leave Stef in a cell to rot. Ooh, lookout, your humanity’s showing! Anybody who has brothers knows a crack like that is followed by a right cross and two drop kicks to the gut. Brotherly love!

HOT NOTES

Sexy sparring practice with Damon and Elena (totes stole the scene from Ric trying to be all analytical in the foreground). Sooner or later Elena’s gonna end up using all this vampire-fighting instruction one way or the other! Bang, you’re dead–nip!

We devote this last report to Elena’s bedroom. The Woobie in Elena’s bed with mini-woobie! Cuddle time! We almost missed the dialogue from hyperventilating! Elena was plum tuckered from an exhausting day of dealing with Bex, even though she may just be on Our Heroes side now. MIA Katherine came through and the plan’s in motion. Damon braced for the Wrath of Elena for effing up her plan, releasing Stef (who btw is a bigger dick than ever now, but now on OUR side). Elena just wanted to go to bed, to hell with the fact that Damon was laying on her covers and went behind her back.

Snuggling in for a hot sleepover, she turned out the light (trusting now, are we?) rolled over to face The Woobie, and uttered the fateful words, “When all is said and done, there’s nothing more important than the bond of family. I think that you’re the one who’s gonna save him from himself. It won’t be because he loves me, it will be because he loves you. Can I tell you the rest tomorrow?” Can we come play at the next sleepover?